I started this year under the Sisyphus Effect, more know as Endless To-Do-Lists. My list of household tasks seemed infinite and I kept doing them until I felt exhausted and stopped still not seeing and end of the list.
I kept my writing to late at night if I would have energy left for it. After two weeks I had managed only one thousand words of exhausted-end-of-the-day writing and I still had that incomplete task list waiting for me the next day.
It took me some time to see that I was under the Sisyphus effect and that my weary uncreative mood was a result from it. When I finally recognized it, I made a vow not to feel defeated by it and not to force myself to perfection. I forgave myself the two weeks of nearly empty word counts, called these first two weeks the “Mercury Retrograde after New Year” and congratulated myself for a household reasonably well kept. Sometimes you have to give yourself a break and restart your personal projects without pushing yourself too hard.
And what about my New Year’s Resolutions? This year is a year filled up with three big projects for me. I want to write two books, a novel and a collection of short stories and by the side still read more books than I did last year. Funnily enough, I already accomplished my last goal now in April managing to read 14 books so far. My last year count was 13 books. And when it comes to my two book projects I’m already expecting them to drag themselves until next year. Life has a knack for keeping you over busy and as far as I don’t give up on my long term writing goals I’ll be fine. I see that I’ll need anyway time until I’m really happy with the quality of the manuscript to be published, so I’m not at all in a hurry. Better late than sorry, it’s my idea when it comes to publishing.
And when it comes to my Sisyphus stone, well, one can only hope that with time it will get slower and lighter. My two year old just threw pasta all over the floor and I have to clean it up.